On October 28, 2011, I became an auntie to a very special little girl named Layla.  Layla was born at right around 24 weeks gestation.  Her mother, Jeni, developed HELLP during her pregnancy, which is life-threatening to both mother and baby.  Jeni also has a 3-year old daughter, Alaina, so they made the decision at 24 weeks to deliver baby Layla.  I, along with 305 of Layla's other aunties, started praying, thinking good thoughts, sending packages and cards, and some even visited Jeni and Layla in the hospital if they were close enough.

Well, I guess I should back up a bit and explain why Layla has 306 aunts.  It all started in 2008 when I got pregnant with Cole.  I started posting on The Bump message boards and made friends with a wonderful group of women and have been interacting with them via the interwebs ever since.  When the rules and arbitrary bannings on The Bump got ridiculous, we eventually formed another message board called the Mean Mommies (and when some fun stuff went down, the Bomb Shelter), a nickname derived from a poor little Bumpie who couldn't handle a little snark.  :)  There we still make our home, talking with each other most every day, sharing our funny stories about our kids, our life triumphs and heartbreaks, and generally offering support, advice, and yes, snark, to one another.  It has proven to be an invaluable support system for all of us, and I feel privileged to be a part of the Mean Mommies and the Bomb Shelter.

So that is how Layla came to have 306 aunties.  And we have watched her grow from an impossibly tiny peanut to a big 5-pound girl.  We have seen her on breathing machines, feeding machines, lifesaving monitors.  And yesterday, we got to see her go home to be with her family.  We have seen a young mother go through so much over the past few months.  Jeni has handled this adversity with such grace and strength.  She has been so strong for Layla when Layla could not be strong for herself.  Her love and her faith have gotten Layla to this point, to this day where she can come home.

I am one of those people that believes that God has a plan for everything, even though we may not understand it at the time.  His ways are not our ways, and sometimes His plan is impossible to comprehend.  But God has HUGE plans for Layla.  That little girl is here for a reason, and she is going to be a force to be reckoned with.  She has already been through hell and back and has proven that she can beat almost insurmountable odds.  Yep, Layla is going to do big things.  And I and all her aunties will have a front-row seat.

We love you, precious girl!

Here’s a picture I took last night.

That would be one young Mr. Cole in time out.  Why, you ask?  Look closely at his belly.  There, you will see scribbles of green marker.  What you do not see, however, is a couch cushion and his table with similar scribbles of green marker.  It seems that a nice big blank piece of paper was not an appropriate canvas for our little Picasso, so he took it upon himself to improve the appearance of his little table, the couch, and his own personhood with green marker.  After being told expressly not to color on himself or the couch or anywhere but the paper.  I was sitting in a chair pumping, and Zac was playing with the baby, and we thought Cole could just sit there with his marker and color.  NOT THE CASE.

So he sat in time out for about five minutes and fake cried.  He could have gotten up after two minutes, but he kept fake crying so there he sat.  He knew why he was in time out.  He knew that he did something he wasn’t supposed to do because he had been told specifically not to color on himself or the couch or the table.  He was shirtless because we had pasta with red sauce for dinner and I didn’t want him to get it all over a nice shirt.  I’m glad he was shirtless because in addition to red sauce, I would have to get marker out of his shirt as well.

Luckily it was a washable marker so it came off the table with a Clorox wipe and off the couch with some microfiber cleaner, and off the boy with a warm washcloth.  No permanent damage done, but maybe next time he will listen to us when we tell him not to do something.

A random Cole funny (because I know how much you love those):  Cole has an Elmo game on the iPad on which he can trace letters and create Sesame Street monsters.  The other morning he woke up and came into our room while I was getting ready and Zac was downstairs.  He doesn’t usually want to play with the iPad in the mornings, but for some reason that morning he wanted to trace his letters.  So he asked me where the iPad was, and I told him I didn’t know and that his daddy probably had it.  He goes running down the hall and I hear him yell, “Daaaad!  I need the iPad!  Uhhh, for Mommy!”  Zac said, “are you sure you don’t need the iPad for Coley?”  Cole replied, “oh, okay.”  Stinker.  And just for good measure, here he is with his beloved iPad.

It’s hard to believe that my sweet boy is nearly 5 months old.  I am seriously starting to wonder when his hair is going to lay down a little.  Probably when his baby hair starts falling out and he starts getting big people hair.  Cole’s hair is still pretty fine so that might not be for awhile.

Cannon is very talkative.  He is content to talk to the ceiling fan or toys on his chair forever.  He also likes to figure out the different toys on his Circle of Neglect.  He is old enough to play in them at school now, but the teachers say he just likes to sit in them and look at the other babies.  He loves to roll around on the soft floor mats at school and loves to see the big kids that come talk to him when we go get Cole from his preschool class.  I’m really happy that the boys are both social, because we see a lot of new people with Zac’s job and at church each weekend.  I’m glad that they are comfortable around new people in familiar settings.

Those cheeks just own me.  I can’t help but smooch on them every chance I get.  Cannon’s personality is starting to shine through.  He is silly and sweet, and loves to snuggle and talk to us.  He loves bathtime with his big brother, and loves when Cole gives him hugs and kisses each morning.

Sometimes when Cole wakes up earlier than usual, he likes to come get in our bed and sleep for another hour or so.  It usually coincides with when Cannon wakes up, so we end up with both of them in bed with us for an hour or so, during which Cannon usually goes back to sleep.

And after wallowing around on the pillows for a little while, Cannon starts rocking some serious bed-head.

My baby has joined his big brother at Primrose. Zachary and I both went today to drop them off. I did okay, not tearing up until I got in the car. I know he is in good hands. The teachers are the same ones who took care of Cole. But it never really gets easier to leave a tiny helpless baby with someone new. Still, I know it will be good for Cannon. Cole has thrived there and I have every reason to expect that Cannon will as well.

But I miss him.

But the days go by fast, and we give them both plenty of love and playtime when we get home. Now that Zachary is no longer working for the Evil Empire, he has been able to enjoy Cannon's babyness much more than he did with Cole.

Back to the pumping.  It isn't so bad.  And the way work is nowadays, it is the only guaranteed down time I get.  It helps break up my day a little, too.  Especially in the afternoons.  Instead of thinking, "okay, I just ate lunch so I have FOUR MORE HOURS until I go home," I only have two hours until I pump at 3:00, and then another hour and a half before quittin' time.  I remember how long the afternoons were when I stopped pumping last time.  It definitely took some getting used to.

Continuing to breastfeed exclusively when you are back at work is difficult, I won't lie.  There are the actual pumping times at work, and then when you get home there is milk to freeze, bottles to wash and dry, pump parts to sterilize, milk to thaw, bottles to prepare for the next day, a pump to be packed and schlepped all over.  It would be easier in some respects to formula feed.  But I think about the convenience of breastfeeding (after you get over the initial shyness about nursing in public).  No bottles to pack, no formula powder to measure out, don't have to find a place to warm it up, and you don't have to carry around dirty bottles when you're done.  I just nurse the baby, no preparation, no clean-up, and the milk is always the right temperature.

And breastfeeding is free, after the initial cost of the breast pump.  Have you guys seen the prices of formula these days??  For that reason and that reason alone, I will HAPPILY strap myself to that milker three times a day and sing all the way to the freezer in our garage.