Wordless Wednesday – I’m Still Standin’ (Yeah Yeah Yeah)
Posted on June 30th, 2010 by Rachel B.
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Filed under: Life As We Know It, Wordless Wednesday | 2 Comments »
Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
Never Say Never
Posted on June 24th, 2010 by Rachel B.
Here's a guest post that I did for Amanda over at In Between Together. She's a fellow working mom who I "met" on Twitter. Her little guy, Marley, is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen (next to CJ, of course). Being that we are both working moms (she as an attorney and I as a legal assistant) and moms of boys, we can commisserate on a lot of trials (har har) and tribulations. Head on over to her blog and give her a read!
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I'll never do that.
We've all said it. I know I have. But as my mother always told me, "oh, be careful little mouth what you say." And I think I've eaten nearly every I'll never do that I've ever uttered.
Before I had a child, I had a certain mindset that there were some things I would never do or allow as a parent. My child would be breastfed and never touch a drop of formula. We would never give him a pacifier and teach him other methods of self-soothing. He would also not watch television because it would rot his little brain and give him ADHD. I would also never let my child cry it out because I found it cruel unnecessary in my case (because my child would be a wonderful sleeper, of course).
But I soon found that these little rules I had made for myself were being broken at a rapid clip. No formula? Had to supplement in the hospital. Give a pacifier? He had one before he was 48 hours old. Let him watch television? It's the only way I could cook dinner or use the bathroom. Cry it out? We recently had to start doing this. So things don't always work out the way we plan.
Now, in all my infinite wisdom as a mother of a one-year old child, I think it is silly to make definite decisions about how you will parent before you even have a child. But boy, did I have things planned while I was pregnant. My mom would always tell me, "never say never!" My mom is full of little platitudes, and pulls one out whenever it is applicable to my situation.
Turns out, my mother is always (ALWAYS) right.
So one by one, my never-will-I-evers became just-this-onces and then not-too-oftens and then I-hope-nobody-ever-finds-out-we-let-our-child-do-this-all-the-times. Sometimes I get a little embarrassed about the things that we do as regards the child that I said we'd never do. And sometimes I get judgmental over the decisions that other parents make. But then I say screw it, we're all just trying to survive here.
The nevers that have been broken don't just apply to child-rearing. They apply to me as well. I would see a frazzled mother in the grocery store, hair unkempt, no makeup, in sweats and ::shudder:: Crocs, trying to fill her cart and occupy a fussy baby. Oh no, not me, I'd say. It takes 20 minutes to fix up and put on a decent outfit to go to the store, I'd say. I'll never set foot outside of the house without any makeup, I'd say. But you know what? It's hard to fix up and look cute when your baby refuses to be put down. There were days when I did good just to take a shower before I had to go out. So you know what? I went out with no makeup, in yoga pants, hair in a knot. And I would see seasoned mothers looking at me with "bless your heart" in their eyes, and I would appreciate their sympathy. I would also see put-together childless women or pregnant women with their adorable first-time baby bellies looking at me with disdain, wondering why I couldn't put a little effort into my apearance before heading out. "I'll never be like that," their faces said. Outwardly, I smiled and said thank you when they complimented me on my cute baby. But on the inside, I screamed "JUST YOU WAIT!!!"
But I never wore Crocs. A girl's got to have standards, right?
*************Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
Filed under: Life As We Know It, Methods | 3 Comments »
CJ’s First Birthday Party
Posted on June 21st, 2010 by Rachel B.
Well, the Big Day is over! CJ's 1st birthday party was Saturday, and it was so much fun. I was worried about how the day would go, but everything worked out (it always does, I’ve learned) and things were great.
Little Mister and I got into town late Thursday evening so that we could get a jump start on party preparations Friday morning. So we got up, made our lists, and set out about town just in time for a late lunch. Four hours later, CJ was starting to get tired of being drug around, and luckily the Mister had arrived at my parents’ house by that time, so we headed back to the house, had a little rest, got CJ settled in with Daddy and Big Poppa, and set back out to the dreaded Walmart for groceries and thingamajigs for the party. We decided to have burgers and dogs in addition to the standard cake and ice cream fare, so I left that for the next day so I didn’t have to find a place in the freezer for dozens of each. I’ll go to Sam’s on Saturday morning, said I.
Saturday came, and we were all up early and raring to go. The weather started out nice and sunny, but HOT HOT HOT. When I got in the car around 10:30 a.m., the temperature was 90 degrees. Great. Luckily, I had called Marvin’s and asked them if they had a misting hose. They said yes, they did. I specifically asked, it’s a misting hose, NOT a soaker hose, right? Yeah, misting hose, the clerk assured me. So I went to Marvin’s to get the misting hose to string up on the fence beside the pavilion in hopes that it would at least provide a cool refreshing breeze for our partygoers. Get there, ask about the misting hose, get pointed in the direction of it. If you know me at all, you know what kind of luck I have. Therefore, you know exactly what happened. The misting hose was, in fact, a SOAKER hose. So I angrily stomped out of Marvin’s, having wasted a half hour out of my jam-packed day. Back to Sam’s.
At Sam’s I picked up burger and dog provisions, some fruit and juice for the little kids, ice cream, and a couple of other things. As I was walking to the register, I decided to take a quick pass through the gardening aisle. Lo and behold, right there in all its 17-nozzle glory, were dozens of packages of the very misting hose I was looking for! I nearly fell to my knees and cried right in the middle of Sam’s. So I checked out (by the way, I’m very nearly bankrupt after this party) and headed to the car. While I was in Sam’s, the storm clouds had begun to gather. Great. And it was 95 degrees. The clouds seemed to have trapped the heat and turned middle Alabama into a sauna. I heaved a sigh and headed home. I got 3/4 of the way home before remembering that I forgot to go to the bakery to pick up the cake. A U-turn on two wheels got me headed back in the right direction. On the way to the bakery, the sprinkles began. As I exited the bakery, the full-on rain started. It was 12:15 at that time.
I got back to my parents’ house to find my dad and husband messing with spark plugs in the Tahoe and my mother inside messing with the baby because he needed a bath, and she was nowhere near ready to go. We should have been at the park already getting the grills up and running, hanging decorations, and prettifying the area. Instead we were nowhere near ready and I was thisclose to having a complete and total FIT. We threw everything into cars, convinced my brother to bring the grill and big cooler to the park with us, and headed out around 1:00. The monsoon that had popped up had been reduced to a drizzle, which was still annoying, but it dropped the temperature from a blistering 95 degrees to a manageable 73 degrees. Thank heaven for small favors, right? We got there, threw up some decorations, got the grills going, set up some chairs, and prayed the rain away. Everyone who had the misfortune of arriving early was put to work (and I really appreciate everyone’s help).
The party got underway, the food was great, and I think everyone had a good time. CJ especially seemed to enjoy himself. He had a great time seeing family that we don’t get to see very often and loooooved all the attention. And the presents, oh, the presents! I have never seen so many gifts in all my life. We didn’t even get to finish opening them because another party group arrived early to set up for their shindig. CJ had a great time digging into his cake. I’m glad there was a water hose handy to clean him off with, because he was COVERED in frosting.
All told, there were nearly 50 people at the party. We went through 40 hamburgers and nearly 60 dogs, two giant bags of chips and 2 containers of dip, bags of M&Ms and nearly an entire half sheet cake. We have a few dogs to take home with us (and some delicious Barber’s dip that they don’t sell in Georgia), but I’m glad most of the food got eaten. Moreover, I’m glad everyone had a good time.
And we didn't even need the misting hose.
I can't believe my sweet angel is a year old. I'm continually amazed at how much he has grown and changed. He is such a joy and a blessing. My life has been made so much richer since becoming that child's mother. This is what I was meant to do. Being a mother is my purpose in life. The privilege of being his mother is just an added bonus.
*************Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
Filed under: Life As We Know It | 3 Comments »
Happy Birthday, CJ!
Posted on June 17th, 2010 by Rachel B.
Today is my sweet boy's birthday! I just wanted to do a quick post to mark the day. We've had a really busy day, so I'm going to hit the hay. Look out for some photos tomorrow!
*************Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
Filed under: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Working Mom Guilt
Posted on June 16th, 2010 by Rachel B.
Here is the guest post I wrote for Alysha over at The Tarr Pit. It gives me something to post (and you something to read) today since I probably won't have much time for blogging the rest of this week. We'll be in full-on birthday mode starting tomorrow, so I won't be around here much. Hope you enjoy, and be sure to stop by Alysha's blog often!
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Alysha and I are polar opposites. She is a blonde, bubbly, petite 22-year old stay-at-home ball of sunshine from the West Coast. Me? I'm a dark-haired curmudgeonly Amazon woman in the Dirty South who is pushing 30 and working 40 hours a week. By all practical intents and purposes, we should have never met each other, much less became friends. We live 3,000 miles away from each other and have virtually nothing in common. But through the magic of the interwebs and a little site called The Bump, we crossed each other's paths during pregnancy and struck up a friendship by becoming "labor buddies." For those of you who aren't in the know, labor buddies are a group of women who are at about the same place in their pregnancies, and they exchange e-mails and messages to commiserate and compare experiences. It's a means of support that I personally found invaluable during my pregnancy.
Our little group of labor buddies happened to be very diverse. We had Alysha, who was like our very own Pollyanna, in good spirits up to the very end of her (week overdue) pregnancy. We had Sarah, who had been through pregnancy and labor before and was a wealth of knowledge and support. We had me and Kathy, both Atlanta transplants that didn't have a big support group and really came to rely on our internet friendships to get us through the unknown. There was Tanya, a young Russian girl who was also experiencing her first pregnancy and is now the only one brave enough so far to become pregnant again. Talk about a ragtag group of pregnant women. But we were all going through the same thing at the same time, and I personally was very glad to have a sounding board during those long nine months. We have kept up with each other on Facebook, and I'm very glad to have made these unlikely friends.
But that's not what I want to talk about today. Let's talk about Working Mom Guilt.
As I mentioned, I work full time. And the Working Mom Guilt started when I was about nine weeks pregnant and we announced our BIG NEWS to my husband's family on Thanksgiving. After the congratulations were said, my brother-in-law's wife, who had just turned 21 two days before and was still in school, asked me when I was going to quit working. Um, I wasn't, I said. At that time, my salary was necessary to make ends meet. Me not working was not an option, and in my mind, it was never an option. I had gone to college, gotten a degree, had a job I liked and was good at, and would continue working. But at that time, I felt a bit of judgment emanating from a 21-year old newlywed for my decision to work.
I'm being petty. But to be honest, I never really entertained the thought of being a stay-at-home mom until recently. I got pregnant two promotions ago for my husband, and we were both bringing home about the same amount of money. Even after the Mister received his first promotion about halfway through the pregnancy, it never even entered my mind to alter my employment status. I liked working outside the home, I liked bringing home money, I liked interacting with adults. I still feel that way now, even though the Mister now makes twice as much as I do. I suppose I could quit working tomorrow if I wanted. Careful budgeting could make it happen. Unfortunately, we tend to grow into any increase in income (well, I say we, but I really mean my husband), and I'm not sure the Mister is ready to dial it back yet.
But still, I get the "when are you going to quit working?" on a regular basis. From my own mother, even. She was here for Mother's Day and was loving on her grandson when all of a sudden she looked over at me and said, "Rachel, how do leave him every day? I don't see how you do it." THANKS, MOM. Way to be encouraging and supportive and not the slightest bit guilt-trippy. This from a woman who worked the entire time my brother and I were growing up. Full-time job, full-time student, two kids, a husband, and a household to run. How did she do it? She just did it. Because when it comes down to it, you do what you have to do for your family.
But interestingly enough, I'm now in a place where I don't HAVE to work. My income is nice, but if it were drastically reduced or eliminated altogether, it wouldn't kill us. The Mister alone makes enough to keep us comfortable (although if my car payment were gone I'd feel even better about it). The thing is, I can't bring myself to quit. For some reason, I have a very apocalyptic world view. If I were to quit my job, then Murphy would set up in our spare bedroom and anything that could go wrong, would go wrong. Our cars would die, something would happen to the Mister's job, extreme medical expenses would crop up, our house would burn down. I know that's probably not a healthy way to go through life, but that's what is making me cling to my job. When we first had CJ, we decided I would go back to work "for awhile" because the economy had just tanked and we decided that I was lucky to have a job making good money in the first place, and that I should keep it just in case. "For awhile" turned into a year, which is approaching in September. I still have no intentions of quitting. I fear change. I need consistency.
And honestly? I feel like I'm taking the easy way out by going to work every day. On days when the school is closed or CJ is sick and I stay home with him, I am utterly EXHAUSTED by the end of the day. I don't really know how to keep him entertained and stimulated all day long. Our schedules on those days are hectic and ramshackle, and when he goes to school I know he is getting some sort of structure. Now that is not to say that if I were at home with him every day I would not have a more organized day-to-day schedule, but I have learned that being a stay-at-home mom is probably the most difficult job in the world. I don't know if I'm ready for it right now. And they say it is easier to work with one child than it is with two, so maybe the Mister and I will revisit the issue when #2 comes along. At that point I would be working basically to pay for my car and two daycare tuitions. If my car payment is eliminated, then I can't justify working just to send two kids to daycare. And to be honest, the good days are wonderful. When we're both well rested and in good moods and we can go out and about and have fun, I can think of nothing I would rather do than be at home with him every day soaking up his cute cuddly babyness. But the bad days, oh, the bad days. We won't talk about the bad days.
It's hard right now when he's little. He needs almost constant entertainment and care. I know as he gets older, it will be easier to spend days at home with him and not go insane. I think if I can preserve my sanity now, I will be in a better place to be a stay-at-home mom when my kids are older. Plus, I want to be the mom that does all the cool stuff at school with my kids. I want to be Room Mother, field trip chaperone, bake sale czar, team snack organizer, sports booster. And I want to be at every class party, recital, awards ceremony, and athletic event. Those are the things that I think will be the most important to me, because I remember how awesome it was when my parents were there for those things, and how it kind of sucked when they weren't and other kids' parents were.
Guilt is a funny thing, and not only reserved for working moms. Women especially like to lay on the guilt trips, for what reason I know not. We all like to play the "I don't judge other women on their parenting" card, but we totally do. From breastfeeding versus formula feeding, disposables versus cloth diapering, to cry it out or not cry it out, and the great stay-at-home versus working mom debate, it seems like we need to bolster our parenting choices by diminishing the choices of others. Most of this is done subconsciously because only the boldest of women would dare to openly judge another mother, but it is done. I know because I do it in my head. And I have clandestine conversations with other mothers that I would deny having to the day I die, conversations in which we rip apart the seeming inadequacies of other mothers (because, you know, we're the best moms in the world, of course). I've come to the decision that it's just human nature. Hmm. I feel another blog post coming on.
Well, this took a much heavier turn than I was hoping. I wanted to jump in on Alysha's blog and be all "HEY Y'ALL!" and funny and witty and sarcastically hilarious, as per usual (ahem). but I guess the subject matter hits me a little harder than I thought. But all that to say this: stay-at-home moms, you have my utmost admiration. Respek knuckles.
Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
Filed under: Ch-Ch-Changes, Life As We Know It, The Plan | 4 Comments »
I’m all over the place today!
Posted on June 16th, 2010 by Rachel B.
Whoa, I've been a busy little bee! Pay Amanda a visit at In Between Together and read about all the never-will-I-evers that have come back and bitten me in the butt.*************
Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
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HELP ME!
Posted on June 16th, 2010 by Rachel B.
I've fallen into The Tarr Pit! I'm guest-posting for Alysha today, so stop over and show us both some love. It's my first time, and I'm nervous as a schoolgirl!*************
Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
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Progress.
Posted on June 13th, 2010 by Rachel B.
Just a quick update until I can get back to a computer later.
CJ went to bed a little late last night, around 9:15. And then he slept until 6:30 this morning. I can't remember the last time he slept that late. It was very nice to be able to sleep all night. I had a killer headache last night, so I took two Tylenol PM tablets and prayed that the boy would sleep all night. I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow, and I don't think I moved all night. I woke up once at 5:30 and checked the monitor, and he was still asleep. He started fussing at 6:30, so I went and got him and brought him in bed with us and we all slept for another hour.
And yet I'm still sleepy. But from what I hear, that never goes away. I'd have to sleep for six months straight just to be caught up on sleep. But it's worth it. I guess. :)
And now for some gratuitous cuteness.
Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
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The Final Countdown
Posted on June 10th, 2010 by Rachel B.
This time a year ago, I looked like this:
A week later, I had this to show for it:
And now:
My beautiful boy will be a year old next Thursday.
CJ is ALL BOY. He is loud, rough-and-tumble, fearless. He shouts just for the sake of shouting. He hurls himself over any barrier that lies in his path. He attacks loves the cat with such ferocity that I fear for his eyes, lest they be scratched out. He has had two black eyes, knots on his noggin, and countless scratches and scrapes. He is such a little force of nature. I cannot stop him, I can only hope to contain him.
And here we are, a week before his first birthday. I am excited and sad at the same time. I'm so happy for him to grow up and be healthy, but MY BABY IS GROWING UP. Before I know it, he won't need me to get him to sleep, help him eat his meals, comfort him when he wakes up at night, kiss his b00boos. He'll be a big boy soon.
So for now, for as long as I can, I'm going to soak up my baby, while he is still a baby.
I am so thankful for this child, this wonderful gift. Words cannot express how much I love him. I cannot remember my life without him. He has brought me so much joy and happiness. I get down on my knees every day and thank God for this undeserved blessing.
Thankful. So grateful.
*************Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
Filed under: Ch-Ch-Changes, Life As We Know It, Thankful on Thursday | 6 Comments »
Ahem. ::looks up::
Posted on June 9th, 2010 by Rachel B.
In case you haven't noticed (or are reading through Google Reader), the House of Burks has a new look! One of my bloggy besties, Laura Jane, has recently opened up her own blog design shop, aptly named Laura Jane Designs. A few weeks ago, I noticed that my blog was looking rather plain in comparison to all the custom-designed pretty blogs out there. I lamented this fact on Twitter, and Laura came to my rescue. She offered to design me a sweet new header and blog button. Um, yes please!
I absolutely love it. Look at those cute little owls! One tiny detail that I love? The mommy and daddy owls are orange and blue. The Mister and I (and CJ by proxy) are huge Auburn fans, so it is only fitting that our team's colors be reflected in a small way on this blog. It wasn't even intentional, she is just that in tune with her customers! Laura was great to work with and kept the lines of communication open so she made sure I got exactly what I wanted. And I sooooo did. I wanted something cute, simple, clean, and modern. Bing bang boom, I got it all. And don't get me started on that cute button. That button will look adorable on ANY blogroll out there (hint hint).
I could not be more pleased with my new makeup. If you're looking for a new face for your blog, head on over to Laura Jane Designs and check out all the pretty she makes. She can do headers, backgrounds, buttons, signatures, dividers, complete layouts, you name it, she can do it. And the prices cannot be beat. She has several packages to choose from, or you can buy a la carte if you're just interested in a new divider or button.
Also, if you're in need of custom invitations, greeting cards, stationary, or announcements, visit my friend Becca over at Jumping Jax Designs. This lady makes the.cutest.invitations. EVER. It's worth a trip to her blog just to see pictures of her adorable son, Jaxton!
Go. Shop. You'll thank me later. Trust me. Have I ever led you astray before?
*************Please vote for me. I'll love you forever.
Filed under: My Favorite Things | 2 Comments »
